I just had a new name seal carved by Henry Li known for his masterful Chinese paintings as well as a dedicated teacher of brush painting. I have been using a hanko (or inkan), a Japanese name seal generally used as a personal signature, for my paintings. The hanko was specially made and gifted to me by my late mother. It is more common to use one’s family name for such seals, however, my mother opted to use my individual name without any surname. It was probably laughable to use a signature seal for the purpose of signing my paintings; but, as someone always disregarding tradition, I chose to use the seal because it meant a great deal to me.

A name seal from my mother that disregarded the surname had a deep meaning. If any of you visited my website, you will find that my mother loved and enjoyed many forms of art including painting, writing, print making and carving traditional Noh masks. She kept in touch with a circle of friends from her college days consisting of many “non-traditional” women from her generation. The group included book/magazine editors, college professors and artists. Some chose not to marry, dedicating their lives to their careers; some chose to marry but later divorced to pursue their own careers. For women born in the 1920’s, they were courageous to choose these paths, especially in Japan. My father never objected to her keeping in touch with her progressive circle of friends or discouraged her from spending time on her artistic endeavors. I could be wrong, but this was due to my mother always making sure to put the family and house matters first, I emphasize “always.” Although it was never any secret that my mother had a close circle of friends, my father nor my brothers nor myself ever had any direct contact with them. The time with these particular friends must have been a sacred time for her and provided a place where she could be herself with her own independent identity. I look at the name seal she gifted me and think, whether intentional or not, that her message to her daughter was to be “yourself and not be defined by any other relationship.” In reality, however, the role model provided by her was that of a traditional wife, mother and dutiful daughter (she took care of her own mother until her death). Unfortunately, it was not until after she passed away that I came to realize how important it was to understand her as a person. I failed to see her as an individual for all these years. I am still grappling to understand who she was inside.

Unfortunately, as a rather inadequate human observer, I failed to hear my mother’s subliminal message and strived for years to identify myself as someone’s wife, mother, daughter or sister. In doing so, I also failed to pass on the most important message as a mother to my children (both genders). “Find yourself and be yourself!” Michelangelo once said, “every block of stone has a statue inside It, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” As a parent, it is not our task to chisel away to form a child to the image of what we want or think he/she ought to be. Rather it is our task to keep a watchful eye and guide the children to discover themselves and enjoy the journey to get to know them as they unravel their true selves. Of course, none of us can do this unless we have started our own journey to discover ourselves. I believe such journey is worth taking as along the way we will, with good fortune, discover “true” relationships.

I am grateful to Henry Li for agreeing to carve my name seal in Japanese characters which, as he had told me, is quite uncommon and more difficult. It is also worth mentioning that, in Japan, how a name is written is an important aspect providing each name with its own unique identity. I was born on a snowy day, so my name naturally means “child of snow.” However, they registered my name to be written in kana rather than using the kanji character representing snow. For this reason, having my name carved in Japanese kana characters had great significance. Finding oneself is hard and being true to oneself is even harder. Therefore, it may be against tradition but the least I can do to stay true to myself is to hold onto my own unique name.

I will always treasure the name seal gifted by my mother, but I am also in love with my new name seal beautifully carved by Mr. Li. It might be just my ego, but the square name seal seems to add a more distinct anchor and balance to my paintings.

Now back to work and practice, practice, practice…